EPISODE CLXXX - QUACKY THE RABID DUCK AND THE SOFA OF CARNAGE




"Proteau to bridge", the security officer's voice came over.

Reed instinctively reached for the communications switch, but stopped as Schultz put a stilling hand on his arm.  "Lt. Scott has the bridge, sir", the Huckster said in his aggravating monotone.

The commander sat back in his chair, uncomfortable with inactivity, and scowled at the science officer.

"Transmit, Mr. Proteau", Number Two said, unaware of the commander's unease.

"Yes, Lieutenant", Proteau replied, "we have found Mr. ANDA, and..."

"And 'what', Mr. Proteau?!?"

"...and it seems he's been neutralized, for the moment", the security officer related.  "We've set up outside of the NCO Club and are awaiting further instruction."

"Copy, Mr. Proteau", the lieutenant answered.  "We'll be sending you additional support."

"Roger Lieutenant.  Proteau out."

Number Two turned to Reed.  "Sir, do you have any suggestions?"

Reed, still brooding in his chair, looked up sullenly.  He thought for a moment and then turned to Schultz, a wry smile on his face.  "Yes, Number Two", he replied, "I believe you should send Mr. Schultz to oversee this operation."

The science officer looked up suddenly from his display with a stricken expression.  "Me, sir", he stammered, "but...but...I never leave the bridge.  Except, of course, to do a...you know.  A number two", he whispered.  "No offense, lieutenant", he added, looking up at Lt. Scott.

"None taken, Mr. Schultz", the aforementioned assured, though his grin matched Reed's.  "But the Commander's plan does have merit."

"Uh, yes that's true", the science officer agreed, trying to hide his anxiety.  "Someone with my superior abilities and intellect would be more than up to the task of correcting this minor inconvenience, yet my expertise is required here, lieutenant."

Reed smirked.  "Stow it, Schultz.  You're going."

"But I'm the glue that holds the bridge together", Schultz argued, wringing his hands nervously.  "They need me", he proclaimed.  He scanned the area for support, but found that all off the bridge's crew immersed in their tasks.  All save one.

"That's right", VanTedly confirmed loudly, "and if he goes, I go!"

Lt. Scott shared a brief but triumphant look with the commander.  "That settles it then", he said.