EPISODE CXCV - No Title




Jeffy rummaged through the remnants of his toolbox, trying to ignore Schultz's comment.  He looked over at Broski.  "Could you grab my BEIR off the cart there and bring it over?"

"Sure", the corporal replied agreeably, "providing you got one for everybody else."

"What are you talking about?", Jeffy asked peevishly.

"Beer", Broski said.  "If you're having one, I think the rest of us on this garbage scow should be allowed to partake."

"Garbage scow", Jeffy uttered defensively.  "I'll have you know..."

Sensing a growing conflict, Schultz interrupted.  "Corporal Broski, Mr. Jeffy was simply requesting that you hand him the Basic Electromagnetic Induction Re-aligner, or BEIR."

Broski looked on the cart, seeing only a large hammer and one of the engineering officer's electronic devices which had managed to survive the carnage.  The corporal grabbed the device and handed it to Mr. Jeffy.

"Not that", Jeffy exhaled in exasperation.  "We won't need that till later."

"Well the only other thing on the cart is a hammer", Broski spat indignantly.

"Which is precisely what he requires", Schultz interjected.

"Then just say 'hammer', for cripes sake!  I ain't hip to all your wussy engineer lingo."

"What do you mean, 'wussy'?", Jeffy demanded, taking a step toward the commando.

Schultz stepped between them.  "I think the corporal simply finds your terminology somewhat abstract."

"Don't be so sure", Broski muttered, grabbing the hammer instinctively.

Jeffy let the comment pass as he adjusted his CIAMALDER and deftly burned two small x's into the steel wall adjacent to engineering.  "Now", Jeffy said, turning back to Broski, "I want you to hit those points with the Beir, really, really hard."

Broski smirked, looking at the wall.  "Maybe I should hit it really, really, really hard, Mr. Jeffy", he suggested sarcastically, "just to be sure."  His comment was ignored by the engineering officer, but Schultz could see the corporal had his doubts.

"Corporal", he began, "the problem we face here is the overzealous application of electromagnetic force upon a ferrous material which on a sub-atomic level has led to a massive particle alignment."  He smiled as though amused by his lethargic explanation.  "This, in turn, causes that ferrous material to produce a field of sufficient intensity to disrupt not only the operation of solenoids directing current to the various conduits along the surface of this partition, but also the actual transfer of energy through the conduits themselves."

"Yeah", Jeffy added enthusiastically, "and it may have gotten to the buss on the other side too!"

"That is also quite possible", the science officer agreed.  "Thus, the obvious solution to such a dire problem is the application of a massive particle alignment disruption, the accomplishment of which your years of barbaric training have managed to uniquely qualify you."

There was a long pause as Broski slowly closed his jaw and wiped a trail of drool from his chin.  Realizing the futility of trying to grasp the science officer's explanation, Broski slowly turned to the wall and swung the hammer in the two areas Jeffy had earlier indicated.  An enormous clang resounded within the small room, and immediately the red emergency lights flickered on.

"Well, that's a start", Jeffy said, rubbing his hands together.