EPISODE CCXXIX - LIFE LESSONS OF CHIRPY THE AGNOSTIC PARAKEET
"All areas are reporting ready, sir", Lieutenant Scott relayed excitedly. "I think we're really ready."
Reed stepped forward, flashing his protégé a confident smile. "Excellent", he breathed turning to where his science officer was seated. "Mr. Schultz, why don't you do the honors."
"Aye-aye, sir", the Huckster replied blandly, unaffected by the rest of the crew's peaked emotions. "Schultz to engineering", he uttered into his communicator, "stand by for my orders."
He waited for an answer, but none was forthcoming. "Mr. Jeffy, do you copy?!?" Still more silence.
Reed keyed his own communicator. "Mr. Jeffy, this is the commander. Do you read me?"
Jeffy reluctantly released his beloved's hand, though their eyes remained locked on one another. "Affirmative, sir", Jeffy responded vacantly, lost in the depths of Nurse Yahbo's eyes. Together
they walked back into engineering.
"Oh, that's where the Generals live", VanTedly informed her. "I hear they have
jacuzzis and..."
Proteau shook his head, pitying himself. "I'm afraid you're mistaken, Ensign." He turned to Liz. "General quarters means that all non-essential personnel should return to their living
areas, and all necessary crew members must report to their duty stations."
"Well sure", VanTedly interjected, attempting to cover his faux pas, "it can mean that, too."
Liz ignored his comment. "So where're we sposed ta' go?"
The security officer considered her question momentarily. "Well, I suppose we could go to the Officers' Lounge", he suggested. "It's comfortable and it is the emergency preparedness area for
this deck."
"Plus it's got a pinball machine", VanTedly chimed in enthusiastically.
"Right", Proteau muttered morosely, his spirits fading at the thought of spending more quality time with the odd couple.
Schrader rounded the corner, en route to get the battered, old veteran a refreshment, and recognized the face of Dr. Egan just before he stumbled into him.
"Hey, watch it, pal", a young enlisted man stated from behind the doctor. He was struggling to drag another man with him and Hound
dog hastened to assist him with his burden.
"Sorry, brother", Schrader replied, slipping himself under the limp arm of the comatose trooper. He cast a glance over his shoulder at the walking injury behind them. "Who's that?"
"Ah, that's just Hillier", Nation informed him, "he's my partner."
Schrader looked back again with some concern. "Is he alright?"
Nation nodded. "Sure, he's fine. He likes to dramatize."
"Hurry up, gentlemen", Dr. Egan instructed impatiently, ushering them into an examination room.
Together, private and lieutenant were able to hoist Orwig's unconscious form onto the table, just as Hillier slumped into the chair resting against the wall. Spots swam before his eyes and he feared he might
pass out from exertion. His breathing came in labored, whistling gasps and it took every bit of his concentration and effort to remain in his seat.
Egan looked at him quizzically, as though truly seeing him for the first time. "Private, I don't like the sound of that breathing", he observed evenly. He motioned for Schrader and Nation to
help him up. "It's throwing off my concentration. Put him out in the hallway."
Broski stormed into the barracks and sat down hard on his bunk. Stauch looked up from his inspection of the latrine, noting the grim expression of disgust on the Corporal's face. "Randaway",
he said to his new second in command, "could you take over here?"
"Sure", the sergeant replied as though he'd been given a million credits rather than limited authority over the barracks' bathroom.
Stauch stepped over to where Broski sulked. "I take it things didn't go so well", he offered skeptically.
"That guy's a quack, Sarge!", the corporal exclaimed. "He wanted me to get in touch with my feelings." A shiver of deep discomfort crept down Broski's back at the mere thought of it.
Stauch patted the him on the back reassuringly. "Well, if you want to talk...well, you know."
Broski nodded as he watched the sergeant return to his rounds, then took a conspiratorial look around the room, ensuring he wasn't under observation. Reaching beneath his pillow, he fondly caressed the cool
steel of the only one that truly understood.
