EPISODE XLIV - HE WHO STANDS ON TOILET, IS HIGH ON POT




Schrader had just stepped in the elevator which would lead him to the bridge.  His thoughts drifted back to the disturbing vision he'd experienced earlier in sickbay, and he shuddered as the doors closed before him.  A fist shot through the rapidly decreasing gap, startling him from his revelry.  The doors slid back allowing Mr. Proteau to enter.

"Lieutenant", he observed, "you're looking well."

"Thank you, sir.", Schrader replied, "I'm feeling much better."

Proteau nodded, clapping the young officer on the back warmly.  They rode the rest of the way in a comfortable silence.  The elevator opened onto the bridge, and Schrader motioned for Proteau to precede him.  The transition from the quiet elevator to the bustle of the command center was disconcerting, but both officers were able to thread their way through the activity and reach the Commander's side.

Reed looked appraisingly at the young pilot.  "Nice to see you on your feet, Lieutenant."

Schrader smiled sheepishly.  "Thank you, sir." he said, saluting smartly, then added, "I'm rarin' ta kick some Wyzenhymer butt."

Reed returned the smile.  "Then you have your chance, Lieutenant", Reed stated, "that is, if you're feeling up to it."

Schrader's face lit up.  "Ya mean it, sir.", he said excitedly, "I can be apart of the mission?"

"Not just a part, Schrader", Reed replied meaningfully, "I want you to command a squad of XG-50 Space-Ladles and execute Operation Feefiefofum."

The pilot paled at the complexity of his orders.  The operation, named posthumously after the great combat tactician Maj. Kirby Feefiefofum, was perhaps the most effective offensive plan in Space Fleet history.  Unfortunately, it was also the most dangerous.  Executed correctly, there was no defense from it's destructive grace, however one mistake, one minor flaw in execution, and the operation turned into nothing more than a kamikaze mission.

Reed watched the young lieutenant absorb the information.  "Can you handle this mission, Lieutenant?"

Schrader swallowed hard, and looked up at his Commander.  "I reckon.", he replied quietly.

Reed's eyes shrunk to slits as his eyes met Schrader's.  "I don't think I heard you correctly, Lieutenant.", he barked, his harsh tone drawing surprised glances from the assembled crew.

Schrader instantly went to attention, his back ramrod straight.  He looked dutifully at his Commander, and corrected his precious statement.  "I reckon, SIR!!"