EPISODE LXXXIX - THE SINISTER SECRET OF POKEY THE INDEX FINGER
Schultz, Stauch and Broski met up with their team near the end of the Commander's briefing. They handed weapons out, but Stauch hesitated momentarily when he came to Ensign VanTedly.
He looked to the commander for direction, who nodded an affirmative. Looking back at VanTedly's grasping hands, he hoped that Reed knew what he was doing. When each member of the away team had
received his issue, Broski and Stauch took positions at the end of the line of crew men.
"So, it is imperative", Reed continued, "that we do nothing to disrupt any aspect of the civilization on the planet below."
"Commander", Lance Corporal Orwig said from his position beside Mr. Proteau, "what if we are pressed into some form of conflict by the inhabitants?"
Reed nodded. "Good question, Orwig.", he replied soberly, "That is why we have opted to utilize this ancient weaponry."
Lieutenant Scott absorbed his statement, before going on. "So, we are authorized to use deadly force", he suggested, "providing it is necessary?"
"Affirmative, Number Two", Reed confirmed, "though I would hope we'd be able to avoid such a conflict."
All of the assembled crewmen nodded in agreement with the commander's statement.
"Any other questions?", Reed queried. When there were none, he turned to Lt. Schrader. "Prepare the vessel, Lieutenant."
Schrader saluted smartly and headed into the shuttle. Reed reached into an antique bag made from some form of animal hide, and pulled out several objects. He stepped forward and handed one to each crewman,
except VanTedly. The team examined the items, which had been created with shiny metal made to look like a five pointed star. Broski read the small, inlayed print on his.
"US Marshals.", Broski said skeptically, "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
Stauch snickered beside him. "Shouldn't it be 'WE Marshals'?", he chuckled, "Haven't these people heard of grammar?"
Reed ignored the comments. "These should be attached to the right sides of your shirts, at chest level."
"What are they exactly, commander?", Mr. Proteau inquired.
"Badges.", Reed replied, "They denote authority, though I'm unsure as to just how much."
Broski fingered the bandana around his neck. "What about these things?"
Reed shrugged. "I'm not sure, Broski", he admitted, "perhaps they're just ornamental."
"Wouldn't they have that weird writing on them, then?", VanTedly queried.
Reed shook his head. "Not 'Oriental', Ensign. Ornamental."
VanTedly's confusion was apparent. "Why don't I get one?", he mumbled pitifully.
Reed stepped over to the young officer. "After studying this civilization in depth", Reed embellished, "I have found that a secondary entity is often necessary to facilitate even the greatest beings
in their ancient culture. That entity is known as a 'Side Kick'."
"But why do I have to be the Side Kick?", VanTedly whined.
"Because... all Side Kicks sing, Ensign.", Reed suggested.
"Oh", VanTedly muttered thoughtfully, "and you think I'm a good singer?", he added hopefully.
"Uh...yeah, VanTedly", Reed covered, "we...we all do. Don't we guys?"
The assembled team began nodding profusely, and talking as one.
"Great singer.", Number Two confirmed.
"Exceptional voice.", Proteau managed.
"Like a lark.", Orwig chimed in.
"Voice of an angel.", Stauch observed.
All eyes went to Broski when it became apparent that no reply was forthcoming. He stared back at them menacingly until his eyes met Reed's.
Broski sighed resignedly. "You're a f#!*king musical prodigy, VanTedly."
