EPISODE LXXXVIII - POLLY THE PERSISTENT HEMORRHOID AND THE DO-NUT OF DESTINY




Stauch and Broski stopped by the armory prior to meeting the away team at the docking bay.  They had already traded in their Space Fleet uniforms for clothing that would be more appropriate for the time frame on the planet below.  Broski pushed back the the wide brimof his newly acquired hat as they entered.  Though both commandos had had dealings with the alien armorer before, they still found his appearance a little disturbing.

"I'll be right there.", a voice called from the back room of the armory.

"It'll just be a minute.", another voice chimed in.

Broski drummed his fingers on the counter as he waited, casting a curious look at Stauch's attire.

"People really wore this crap at one time?", he asked doubtfully, eyeing Stauch's coarse, brownish garb.

The sergeant nodded.  "At least that's what the ships Earth History file states."

Broski yanked on the handkerchief tied around his neck.  "Well what the hell is this for?"

Stauch thought for a moment, then shrugged.  "Maybe it denotes rank.", he suggested.

The armorer stepped into the room, resting his hands on the counter as he studied the duo with two sets of eyes.  "What can I get you?", one of the heads asked.  "What is it you need?", the other queried.

Stauch opened his mouth to speak, but paused momentarily considering which head to address.  "Well, Dugz", he began, switching his eyes from one to the other, "we need some weaponry that would be appropriate for mid nineteenth century Earth."

Dugz looked at himself, as only people of the Strobewan race can do.  "I think we can handle that.", one head said as the other nodded its agreement.  "How many of these weapons would you like us to synthesize?"

"Ten short ranged weapons.", Broski informed them, "and at least half as many long ranged."

"Just give me a few minutes.", the left head replied as he moved toward the back room.  "Be right back.", right head confirmed.

"And we'll need some sort of antique web gear to carry them.", Stauch called after them...er, him.

"No problem.", Dugz responded from the back.  "Can do.", Dugz affirmed.

Broski looked over at his sergeant, shaking his head.  "That ain't right.", he said quietly, referring to the armorer's.

Stauch put a finger to his lips to quiet the corporal before he could offend either of the Dugzs'.

Broski rolled his eyes.  "Well it ain't.", he muttered, more to himself this time.

Dugz returned a few minutes later with a variety of weaponry and ammunition.

"Solid projectile weapons!", Broski exclaimed, clearly offended.

Dugz nodded his head.  "That is what they used back then."  "It most certainly is.", the other head concurred.

"Where are the ammo clips?", Broski asked impatiently.

Dugz shared an amused look with himself.  "They didn't have any.", right head said.  "Not invented yet.", left head agreed.

"These will do just fine.", Stauch stated, emphasizing the point to Broski with a stern look.

"Would you like me to show you how to load it?", right head offered as left head peered at the corporal.

"If it's a gun I can figure it out.", Broski said irritably, gathering up the equipment.  He stormed out into the corridor heading for the docking bay.

"He's a little touchy.", left head observed after he'd left.

"He's had a rough couple of weeks.", Stauch offered hefting his load.

"I liked him.", right head said pleasantly.  "You would.", left interjected.

A heated argument ensued, as Stauch hurried to catch up with the corporal.